We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters
@CantWaitToNap: Seriously, calm down. I backed into you by accident.
Him: You hit me three times!
@CarpentersCrack: Step aside coffee, this is a job for alcohol.
@fuzzlime: *finally gets comfortable with you*
*starts whispering in your ear*
"oooo baby I can recite all my phobias in alpha order"
@tdug: My greatest fear is having a star athlete injure himself and having the coach look into the crowd and point at me to take his place
@MelvinofYork: Me: has anyone ever told you how much we appreciate you around here
Coworker: (blushing) um, no
Me: did you ever wonder why that is