Set a personal record today.
I put 300 lbs on bench press.
I couldn’t lift it, obviously, but once the weight crushed my chest, I was able to hold my breath for 3 minutes and 26 seconds.
Personal best! 🙌
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Her: Your word is consent.
Him: Can you describe the word?
Lets all take a minute and realize the lack of creativity in the name “fire place”
Every time I put on my striped socks I always have an ominous feeling that today is the day that a house will drop on me.
Be the change you want to find in your couch.
Air Bud trembles in fear after the opposing team drapes a basketball jersey over a vacuum cleaner and puts it on their starting lineup.