Don’t give people who sneeze loudly the attention they crave.
Settle down, Levi’s commercial. You are talking about pants.
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[labels account “18+”]
[tweets exclusively about voting & buying cigarettes legally]
Have you guys ever seen any of my exes?
Is it too early to start drinking? – some moron with a clock.
May the Force be Mass times Acceleration.
It’s uncool to be religious. It’s uncool to be atheist. If someone asks what you believe in just say Beyoncé. It’s the only way to be safe.
so Slate set up a “who can write the worst article” competition today
and one last joke for the day. And I will be off driving back to Claremont for two shows. Have a beautiful day.
Gandalf chuckled to himself as the boat left shore. “I just noticed,” he whispered, “your name sounds like Dildo” #LastLinesFromGreatBooks
My brief gig as a lounge singer ended when I asked 4 requests & realized I didn’t know the song “Get Off the Stage or Die.” Elvis, maybe?