We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters
@tweetsbyrocket: shawn: [yawns] I'm tired
shaun: [yauns] me too
sean: [yeans] and me
@GavinProbably: I always ask Subway workers if THEY want double meat, then wink.
Then I get kicked out.
@kidphonic: Funny how you can tell a child Santa is made up and they accept it immediately, but you tell an adult God is made up, and they throw a fit.
@myles_morrison: I'm not an alcoholic. I'm soberphobic.
@GauravBlue4ever: Church: Follow Jesus.
Me: Does he follow back?
Me: Shoutout for shoutout??
@JohnLyonTweets: Point of etiquette: When attending a chainsaw massacre, don’t spend the entire time chainsawing one person. Get out there and mangle.