@causticbob: A router goes into a doctor's office and says, "It hurts when IP."

@fizzlestothetop: Well, seeing as Jesus only had 12 followers, I'd say I'm doing pretty well for myself.

@lovejulieacafe: I just saved a ton of money by using my Pizza Hut points to order free pizza- earned from the ton of money I spent on previously ordered pizza.

@wesjohnson8: When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure the other person isn't doing the same thing.

@TheHyyyype: wife: we should get a pet me: *nodding* a wolf wife: are you insane? those are dangerous me: a large dog wife: ok thats a good compromis- me: that hates the moon