@McCutty1

She won’t admit she’s obsessed with Instagram…

But her kids’ names are Brannan, Kelvin, and Valencia.

She won’t admit she’s obsessed with Instagram…

But her kids’ names are Brannan, Kelvin, and Valencia.

- @McCutty1

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@Smug_Lemur

“It’s not what it looks like,” I say to the bunny noticing my slippers.

@HiddleDeeDee

If your pharmacist was as hot as mine, you’d be in line for your fifteenth flu shot as well.

@WAYNES_O

When the mosquito landed on my face, it was one of the easier decisions of the day for my wife.

@mommajessiec

9yo: Mom, do you know where the hairbrush is?

Me: [brushing my hair with a fork] No.

@sonictyrant

ME (the manager): Lets get your barista name badge sorted. Do you spell Robert with a Q or a Z?

@FeverFlave

If you balance your medication correctly you can blank out an entire morning meeting.

@nice_mustard

what if you thought you had met your soul mate but then you saw them put mayonnaise on a hotdog