Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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@samir: Shia LaBeouf always manages to come back into our lives at the exact moment we forget how to spell his last name

Shia LaBeouf always manages to come back into our lives at the exact moment we forget how to spell his last name
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@MarfSalvador: [Club] Him: You want to dance? Her: *Giggling* Ok Him: *Scowling* Well go on then

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@JasonLastname: Crazy to think back before camera phones we all used to sit in front of bathroom mirrors with sketch pads.

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@mortimermaiden: *breaks glass* *pulls fire alarm* [outside] Great, now that you're all here, I want to correct this impression in the office that I'm weird.

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@cepheusjackson: SON: *first word* momma. MOM: DID YOU HEAR THAT? ME: *distracted by the faint song of an ice cream truck* He never comes down our street.

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@oxygenplug: [at party] friend: is dave coming? me: cool dave or dave who likes watering holes & has amnesia? Dave: well, well, well..who do we have here

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