Top Five Accountant Taboos:
5. Unreconciled difference
4. Doesn’t foot & crossfoot
3. No journal entry support
2. Cooking the books
Should I buy a new pair of sunglasses or just leave $60 in a restaurant?
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That awkward moment when you are introduced to someone and you have no idea if that person is their child or their spouse.
It’s weird that ‘coward’ doesn’t mean
“towards a cow”.
Can’t wait for Game of Thrones to come back because I miss civilized political discourse.
Well thank you auto correct for changing “I wish you were here” to “I wish you were her”. I didn’t wanna have sex anyways.
Woman 1: you sure the left half is fine?
Woman 2: I honestly have no preference, really
Woman 1: cool ♥️ I’ll take the right, please
King Solomon: *sweating*
Working on a screen play that involves zombies invading a prom. I’m calling it “Prom Nom Nom”
INTERVIEWER: you got the job when can you start
ME: this year for sure
If you see a white guy in earbuds convulsing angrily with T. Rex arms, don’t freak out. I’m just jamming out to Eminem.
CHARACTER: I’ll have a beer
BARTENDER: What brand?
CHARACTER: *stunned* Uh…I don’t know, no one’s ever asked this in a show before