Be the reason why your local woods are haunted
Shouldn’t there have been ONE scene in The Karate Kid where Daniel’s mom was like “Why are you constantly in that old man’s shed?”
You Might Also Like
until my aim improves I’m just a puncturist
Waiter, Waiter, I would like some lamb chops and make them lean.
Certainly Sir, forwards or backwards?
#WaiterJokes #RubbishJokes #Puns #DadJokes
ME: I own a hawk..watch. CLARENCE TO ME
[across town hawk at dinner w/ family]
WIFE:Just dont answer it
HAWK:*sighs* We need this job
I saw a man running and started to panic that there was a fire or a bear and then I remembered that some people just do that.
you know when you’re rocking the no makeup look and you assume you’re lookin all beachy natural n cute but then u look in the mirror and u look like a victorian child sick with influenza who won’t make it through the winter
At my funeral, I’d like my family, my closest friends, and a high-pitched squeal no one can locate the source of
Boss: What are you doing here on a Saturday??
Me (eating leftovers from fridge): …reports.
Why does my computer always ask me if I’m “sure” about stuff? Yes, I want to delete my hard drive.
me: this haunted house is so scary
me: look at all the spooky witches
wife: we are in a house of mirrors
me: oh no they seem mad