ME: I was born a tree…
ALSO ME: …but I’ll dialog.
SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE PREGNANT LADIES GETTING READY FOR THE BIG WEEKEND COMING UP !!!
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Take that seed.
Yes that one
Now crunch it up.
Now pour this hot water on it.
Let me drink that.
It’s good. Name it “coffee”
I don’t think people should throw stones in regular houses either.
“Hey, the sky is pitch black tonight.”-You, counting your lucky stars.
Marriage is about understanding what irritates your spouse and using it strategically.
I saw a horse last week and didn’t immediately say ‘horse” but it finally came out today in the middle of an important meeting and everyone thought I was brain storming
Four 6 year old girls playing quietly at 7am is called a horde of elephants having a foot race.
i miss when my mom would fix girls nails after they got in a fight for free if they showed her the fight video
That moment you realize “The Beatles” is a pun.
For those of you keeping track, so far:
Whoever is out there saying “What’s the worst that could happen?”-