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@WhatevaConc: Shout out to hotel maids changing sheets on February 15th.
@westofsunday: Stranger:So,you're a parent?
Me: Yes,proud dad of a 5yo w/ special needs
S:cool, I'm sort of a parent too, 2 dogs and a cat
@shariv67: I am starving and horny. This cucumber is going in me one way or another.
@HatfieldAnne: My mother’s relationship with waitstaff assumes that the menu is an enemy code they’ll decrypt together.
@RorynotRoy: Your neck tattoo says "Only God can judge me," yet here I am.
@RocketRankoon: *GF walks in dressed up
"Who's the babe and what've you done with my gf?"
*tackles imposter and puts her in choke hold
WHERE IS SHE