@JohnLyonTweets: Shout-out to smartphones for eliminating tedious tasks from our lives like reading books or watching the road when we drive.
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@canadasandra: When attempting to make a good first impression imagine how important good grammar is. Wrong. Importanter.
@ch000ch: Look at all of these beautiful horse "Horses" Horse is already plural "You're thinking of elk" *stares off* Holy mooses, you're right
@TheBoydP: There are two types of people in the world, those who sweat when eating spicy food and those whose nose drips when eating spicy food.
@ibid78: *interrupts your baby's first words* "IF A PANDA WEARS A HANDKERCHIEF IT'S CALLED A PANDANA."