@SamuelHLowe: Shout out to the creepy guy sitting in your bedroom chair who turns into clothes as soon as you turn on the lights.
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@OctopusCavemann: St. Peter: Welcome to Heaven Me: Wow! An open bar! St. Peter: You have to be dead 21 years to drink Me: *slips him a fake ID* St. Peter: Enjoy yourself Mr. Grunge Music
@FussySaffa: Adorable idea. Colleagues have been writing names on their food in the office fridge. I am currently eating a yoghurt called Debbie
@Sickayduh: MOM: You give that back to him, mister ME: Ok mom MOM: and what do we say now? ME: *climbing off unicycle* sorry I tried to steal your girl