Day 1: injected self with mouse DNA
Day 2: ate 12 blocks of cheese
Day 3: 15 blocks
Day 4: experiment is failure; no observable changes
Shout out to the top 5 lists in the world, naughty, check, bronze meda, Your Kiss is on My, and Craig’s.
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She is now a black belt in karate.
as a kid, I used to think $1,000 was a lot of money. But now that I’m an adult, I think it’s a tremendous amount of money
me: another one, make it a double
hot dog vendor: how
I don’t suffer insomnia like most tweeters do.
I always get a solid 7, maybe 8 minutes of sleep every night.
[Throwing a ball for my dog]
Dog: I’m not wearing the gown though
*gets last year’s turkey out of the attic*
My origin story is like Harley Quinn’s except instead of rising out of a tank of chemicals it’s instant mashed potatoes
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