@edawg_eric: *shows up at your hot dog convention wearing nothing but mustard and a smile.
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@iamburtjarvis: if you have flat coke lying around in the kitchen, do not trash it, you can make a coke casserole. very simple recipe. here it is. 1. add tbsp. wow you’re still reading this. 2. maybe it’s time to logout, champ.
@LetMeStart: My kids are yelling so incoherently at one another it sounds like they're naming IKEA furniture.
@Book_Krazy: Therapist: How's your narcissism? Much better I thin...*sees my ex walking by* [opens window] HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE I BROKE UP WITH YOU!"
@iRowlf: Sorry I look depressed. It's just that when I heard the sound of your high heels on the hardwood floor, I thought a pony was in the house.