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3. Most succinct version of the Bible
@Reverend_Scott: American Horror Story:
@dreamthievin: A 6-month wait when filing for divorce, but only a 15-day wait when buying a gun. I think the solution for relationship problems is clear.
@mohamudmohamud: You know you are Canadian when 0°c and sunny is beautiful warm day...
@BigHeb7: I just saw three dudes wearing denim shirts with denim jeans. Who's responsible for this shit? Canada? Was it you, Canada?
@panmidwest: GOD: no work on the sabbath or I'll kill you
ISRAEL [hasn't had a day off in 400 years]: awesome!
ISRAEL: we mean…oh no so hard