@SvnSxty
Director: Ok, this time you have to say the butter part
Owen Wilson: wow
Director: The whole thing Owen, “Wow, I can’t believe it’s not butter”
Owen Wilson: wow
@VinnyPisciotta1
Singin’ in the Rain is a beloved Oscar-winning classic, but singin’ on the train will get you harsh stares and a six seater all to yourself.
You Might Also Like
@SvnSxty
@Book_Krazy
“And why do you want to work at the aquarium?”
* imagines me with a mermaid tail swimming in the giant tank after hours*
I like fish
@Pork_Chop_Hair
If I became a witch, the first spell I would cast is to make crickets sound like a purring cat. After that, Iโd focus on evil. But the cricket-cat thing first.
@david8hughes
[skydiving with my dog]
Me: ur ears r inside out
My dog: can’t hear u my ears r inside out
Me: it’s the wind
My dog: I think it’s the wind
@amydillon
I hope my teeth enjoy these 3 minutes of minty freshness before their 8-hour coffee bath.
@mom_tho
I was slicing leftover ham as my kids were watching Peppa Pig and I was momentarily very sorry
@LittleMissAngr1
Him: Honey, I wrecked the car.
Me: Omg! Did you pick up the food first?
@Pro_Jones_
Friend: You’re going to be an usher at our wedding. Is that okay?
Me: Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.
@jonnysun
hmmm public speakimg clases..? well do u hav private speakimg clases? bc i hav a secret *leans in close to u* I NEVER LEARNED HOW TO WHISPER
@simoncholland
My credit card was declined and when I called Visa they asked me to verify that I was a 39 year old man buying a unicorn frappuccino.