I just googled Magnum condoms and I swear I could hear Siri laughing.
single because i didn’t forward that chain mail in 2008
You Might Also Like
I RT you, you ignore me
I fav you, you ignore me
I ignore you, you ignore me
This seems to be working out well for us
I am realistically only 1 crossbow away from accidentally killing someone with a crossbow.
Every time someone says, “at least it’s a dry heat,” I want to stab them with a box cutter.
*at least it’s a short knife.
Last Minute Gift Idea:
Chew with your mouth closed.
I like my women like I like my cigarettes, slowly killing me in packs of 20 or more
A priest, a rabbi, and a duck walk into a bar. All three of them are Scarlett Johansson.
Always buy ‘hand wash only’ shirts whenever you want to wear something once and then throw it into a ‘hand wash only’ basket for 15 years.
The only cat like reflex I possess is turning and staring at the wall when you talk to me.
I hope I get a good grade on my kids science project this year.