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@Adyaces: Siri, where did I go wrong?
Siri: How long you got?
@sweet_toof: Go see American Sniper. Or go to your buddy's house and watch him play Call of Duty for two hours
@Home_Halfway: Dropped a gorilla into my apartment so I could shoot my roommate
@Tw1tter_K1tten: I did laundry for 7 miles according to my Fitbit that I accidentally washed and dried.
@PoliUncorrect: * Pogoing Outside Your Window
~ Are... You... Sure... You... Don't... Want.... A... Second... Date?
@NoogsCorner: Superwife! Gets pissed faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than your longest friendships. Leaps your decisions in a single bound.