“No way!” said the hitchhiker as both he & the driver held up an ax. “I was gonna kill you!” “No I was gonna kill YOU!” eruption of laughter
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The Pope is hardly the first person to lose interest in their real job so soon after joining Twitter.
“Dad, are we pyromaniacs?”
” Yes, we arson.”
*watches a movie with you*
*loudly beeps during all the good parts*
Grandpa *pulls coin from my ear*
Me: Pft. Some trick.
Grandpa *shoves coin into my ear, twists my nose, peanuts begin pouring from my face*
Like a lioness protecting her cub, but it’s me lunging at the coworker about to nibble on my favourite pen.
AMERICA: We don’t need the metric system, our measurement system is fine
AMERICAN MEASUREMENT SYSTEM:
I have the confidence of a bald headed eagle, and the shy modesty of his distant relative the combover falcon.
“I am Daenerys Targaryen. The Unburnt. Mother of Dragons. Breaker of chains. Que-”
Job interviewer: Three references is fine.
WHY ISN’T THE MEDIA TALKING ABOUT THIS?!👇
*links to story on mainstream media site*