@zachreinert03: Slasher films are so unrealistic. Anyone could out run a guy walking with a chainsaw. That's why I train running with a chainsaw.
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@sera9elliot: now that we've banned plastic straws, i guess i'll just have to drink my frappucino through this assault rifle
@rockymomax: [me as a magician] ME: *pulls rabbit from hat* AUDIENCE: ooohhh! ME: *pulls knife from hat* AUDIENCE: OOOHHH!!! ME: *pulls sautée pan from hat* AUDIENCE: NNOOOOOO