*slowly releases air from a balloon during your wedding vows*

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Huge respect for Parasite, but Ford v Ferrari deserved to win just for the opening scene


If you’re ever having trouble coming up with creative names for your villains, just remember that Star Wars decided to name Darth Maul’s brother Savage Opress


if i got back all the money i spent on liquor i would have enough to buy a huge amount of liquor all at once


You didn’t even notice that I had 1/8 of an inch cut off of my hair!

– women


bigfoot [eating a clown]: hey these might actually be my size


Imagine being the kid that got cut from the team on Air Bud because they had to make a roster spot for a golden retriever.


[job interview]
Boss: What qualifies you to be a ninja?
Ninja: I just cut your head off.
Boss: That’s pr–*thump*