@donni: Smile for the camera. Laugh for the pencil sharpener. Dance for the refrigerator
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@TheDragoEffect: REALTOR: It's a great neighborhood. Wonderful schools- ME: And the Pokemon? REALTOR: .... sigh. Mostly Pidgeys ME: I think I've seen enough.
@WilliamAder: Me: This "Fear the Walking Dead" show is really creepy. Wife: This is the Video Music Awards.
@SarahFemme: I hope at my funeral someone has the foresight to bring a Ouija board so I can live tweet Hell.