I just want someone to look at me like I look at bubble wrap
So, a shipment of crickets for the lizard arrived via FedEx today. It was my first time ordering bulk crickets off the internet, and I naively assumed that they would be in like, a bag or some other contraption to facilitate easy transfer to another container. They were not.
You Might Also Like
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth.
Then it just becomes a soap opera.
I lost my voice so basically I’m every mans dream girl right now.
Columbus: I claim this cake for Spain.
Also these Slim Jims are for Spain, too.
And maybe the
me: dude, that’s my mom’s cassero-
Never laugh at a toddlers joke unless you want to hear it repeated 425 more times.
Idk guys, life has never thrown me lemons.
Social anxiety, insomnia, mental breakdowns, drugs and eating disorders..
But never lemons.
When you think about it, the little old man behind the curtain in Oz was the original catfish.
‘You have an important event coming up? OwmeeGod, count me in!’ -pimples.
Can you just bear with me for a moment? *grabs salmon out of stream. bites head off. hibernates.*