@carterhambley
@GimmeDemTxTacos
Thats right, I spelled potatoe with an e. If they can have eyes, what’s stopping them from having toes?
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@GimmeDemTxTacos
@weinerdog4life
Keanu Reeves watching a Keanu Reeves movie trying to figure out how he’s in two places at once.
@ShesAllNat
Is a red headed Ninja called a Ginja?
@IncrediblyRich
Mufasa means King. So their parents literally named their sons King and Garbage. No wonder Scar wanted everyone dead.
@ThugRaccoons
Satan: Welcome to Hell.
Me: Dude! This is a tropical paradise! Bikini clad women. Alcohol as far as the eye can see.
Satan: I know, pretty sweet, right? Now, take this group of toddlers to the beach. For the day. All day. Everyday.
Me: Sonofa….
@DoggoDating
@WilliamRodgers
Johnny Depp’s wife of just over a year Filed for Divorce today…
With NO prenup…She is gonna get soooooo many bracelets.
@NickBossRoss
Do you ever think Mr. Whole is sick of tourism ads targeting his family?
@brianbowman73
I once tried to the Dirty Dancing lift with my cat but it turns out Mr. Mittens isn’t very strong.
@RickyCoronaa
Earlier today I went to a girl’s highschool soccer game and there was a rough play where two players went to the ground. I guess one of them pulled the other’s hair so she gets up and says “I liked it better when your bf pulled my hair” not even the ref knew what to do. I fainted