@Carbosly: So I asked my husband to buy 6 potatoes.
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@Underchilde: My girlfriend told me to “tread lightly.” So when I ran over her, I drove really slow.
@isabelzawtun: Bury me in a werewolf costume so when I come back as a zombie people will be like "lol what"
@causticbob: Greek people must feel like a tampon. They live in one of the most beautiful places in the world, but at the worst period.
@BlondAmbitionTO: Why do people leave mattresses on the side of the road? Do they really think someone will take it? Do you think I should wash it first?