@illiter8too: So many athletes thank god for their wins, but I want to see athletes who angrily curse god when they lose.
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@TheMichaelRock: News: Don't panic about Ebola, but please watch this nonstop coverage about how it could spread everywhere and kill you. Don't panic though.
@TheTweetOfGod: People who spend their lives complaining how other people are doing nothing productive for society are doing nothing productive for society.
@fro_vo: me: [walks into a darkened room of people holding hands around a table] what are you guys doing psychic: *whispers* seance me: ance