When someone accuses you of being defensive, you can’t deny it without sounding defensive. Just hurl a flower pot. No one expects that.
s/o to parallel lines for keeping that shit platonic and never crossing. they keep a healthy professional work ethic
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Sir, we’re going to have to ask you to leave.
*mouthful of like 20 grapes *
“That lady took one too!!”
Wife: We need a new fridge.
Me: This is a terrible day.
Wife: You can use the old fridge as a beer fridge.
Me: This is the best day of my life.
Zodiac Killer: *serial killing*
Victim: why are you doing this?
Zodiac Killer: you know how Scorpios are lol
I think it’s only called hoarding when you’re poor.
Referring to another employee as a “gingeraffe”will land you in sensitivity training…no matter how tall and redheaded they are.
Just by reading the Marilyn Monroe quote you’re already handling them at their worst
if someone asks you about yourself say “OK, sit down, this is going to be a really long story” then just wander off
If you want your uninvited guests to leave, seat them comfortably in the basement, then go upstairs and watch TV.
Biden: What if we paint the Mexican flag in the office
Obama: Joe, no
Biden: I already ordered the paint