[pours a bag of sugar over a tire fire]
i think i’ll call it… Twizzlers
So when a cop asks you why you have a handcuff key on your key ring, saying it was his wife’s idea will get you a free ride in his cop car
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You kids today with your on demand music don’t know the euphoria of hearing your jam come on the radio without the DJ talking over it.
Only in Canada during a winter storm will you see kids playing road hockey.
Why its called ‘having your period’ and not ‘rolling out the red carpet ‘ I’ll never know.
Somewhere on a windy pasture under this moon there’s a barbed wire fence I left more of myself on than I realized.
In “Hit Me Baby (one more time)” when Britney Spears said “my loneliness, it’s killing me”, she was actually predicting the 2020 social distancing period. In this essay I will
Sometimes I toast to world peace, but secretly, I just want restaurants to stop serving frozen butter with bread
Sometimes you need to hug someone out…
Marriage is fun because i asked my husband to please fix the sink and he started talking about how he should add a floor over the living room because it’s wasted space, then watched DIY on house flipping and said he could do that, then took a nap and the sink is still broken.
I bought a CD today.
Now I’m waiting for my carriage to take me home, because I have laundry to do at the river and butter to churn.