If a dentist makes his money off unheathly teeth,why should I trust a toothbrush 4 out of 5 dentist approve?
So when people say they religiously do something. Does that mean they do it really hypocritically and fairy tale like?
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*gets stuck halfway through a somersault*
This is how I live now.
[running away from killer]
KILLER: YOU’RE GONNA TRIP ON YOUR SHOELACES THEN I’LL GET U
ME: MY SHOES ARE VELCRO
Doc: So you’re not sleeping?
D: how much water do you drink?
M: a glass a day
M: 4 glasses
M: Yes, please
Croutons and cherry tomatoes are the natural enemies of the plastic fork.
If you’re going to walk a mile in my shoes, take my fitbit with you.
HER: I work for the Red Cross.
ME: *leaning in* That’s a huge plus.
Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10.
It’s simple meth.
Mom, dad… I’m gay. I didn’t know either, someone on the internet told me