@Vice_Queen: So your face, is it permanently like that or are you genuinely surprised every time you take a selfie?
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@deardilettante: How's it going? "I'm so glad you asked, really need to talk to someone right now" You're supposed to say 'fine' & ask how I am. Bye.
@rcromwell4: Youngest cried because Tooth Fairy was in the house while we were sleeping and I can't argue with her logic regarding intruders.
@Rica_Bee: Netflix: (every 45 seconds) aRe YoU StiLL wAtcHiNg ??? Netflix when you fall asleep on the couch: *somehow plays 18 episodes in a row*
@karanbirtinna: How many mission impossible movies must there be before they admit that the missions are actually kinda doable?