[sips martini] *sigh* [sips margarita] Now THIS ONE is delicious!
Waiter: Ma’am, you can’t try drinks on other tables. Please sit down.
Social Life Status: My friends are balloons with faces drawn on them. Stuart. My best friend. Popped two days ago.
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Apparently you can’t just say, “Not my circus, not my monkeys,” and leave your kids at the store.
I do really good on my diet for like 8 or 9 hours, and then I wake up.
Sometimes I say “you’re welcommmme” to my husband for no reason in a super snobby voice just to watch him squirm.
The only thing we know for certain about Macron is that he is 39 years old and even that will probably change next year.
She has a weimerhi…wimerrihym….wimmerhie…
She has a big gray dog.
“Here you go body some nutritious food, how bout some energy?”
Body: “I shall make this into nose hair”
me when someone tries to get to know me
Secretary: Mr. Grey will see you now.
Anastasia Steele: I have a ridiculous name.