Some baby on this plane is singing the ABCs all out of order and a guy just shouted “yes girl remix!!”

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“You gotta try the lobs-”
– I’ll should tell you…
– We’re not having sex.
– What were you saying?
“The chicken here’s great.”


*pulls away from kissing*

Does this mean no ticket or several tickets, officer?


Prince Charles is not at all pleased with the Genie that misheard his “coronation” wish.


I need some sugar. Not the stupid kind that gives you mono, but the good kind that gives you diabetes.


There’s a big difference between seminary school and semenary school.


[using Ouija Board]

“Will i ever find true love–”


Girl: Cute dog

Me: Thanks he’s my therapy dog

Dog: *taking notes* possessive and codependent


“Donatello choose ur weapon”
“I’ll take a stick”
“Really not a sword? Nunchu..”
“Ha I guess u wanna wear purple too?”