@spacej_me

Some people have sex to make a baby but I prefer the old fashioned way of capturing a wild baby, and that’s how I ended up in jail

Some people have sex to make a baby but I prefer the old fashioned way of capturing a wild baby, and that’s how I ended up in jail

- @spacej_me

You Might Also Like

@DanaSchwartzzz

*to the tune of Losing My Religion*
That’s me in the corner
That’s me at the cheese plate
Eating all your crackers

@Boleyngirly

I hear the Pink Panther song when I sneak down the hall for a midnight snack..

@chuuew

[bar]

DOG: Pour me a double. This day can’t get any worse…

CAT BARTENDER: [slowly pushes drink off the bar]

@TribalSpaceCat

Very normal stages of anger:
1) kinda upset
2) crying
3) imagining yourself singing a revengeful song to them at a talent show

@Book_Krazy

[A pair of crocs sitting on a riverbank]

Why do you think people hate us so much?

“Idk. I blame the idiots who wear us with socks.”

@HysteriaBarbie

Relationship status: DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, YOU CALLED A STORMTROOPER A ROBOT

@IntrepidDeviant

What if Jesus actually walked on Walter and that whole water thing was a typo that no one corrected coz there was no Twitter?

@KeetPotato

never trust a person who says they don’t like chocolate, even dogs eat chocolate and it kills them