@TheTalkingPipe: Some people wouldn't understand irony if it beat them over the head with a helmet.
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@ArfMeasures: WAITER: Would you like Parmesan cheese on your meal? ME: Yes WAITER: Say when ME: Well now makes the most sense
@Maui_Speaks: Nice Fitbit bro. I didn't realize that they had a model you can wear around your ankle.
@crylenol: what if your dentist is the one idiot who disagrees with the all the other dentists? how would you know?
@thrillhicks: I’ll smash someone’s car window on a hot day if I see they’ve left a chocolate bar melting inside.