@taylortomlinson: Somebody texted me "What are you doing?" and I just wrote back, "My best."
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@Tmoney68: God: "MOSES. THIS IS THE LORD. I HAVE NEWS FOR YOUR PEOPLE." Moses: "New burning bush. Who dis?"
@NikkiGlaser: Social experiments where skinny people wear fat suits teach us to be nicer to fat people because it might be a skinny person in a fat suit.
@HatfieldAnne: Look out. The Guest Who Wants to Help in the Kitchen has arrived. She is me and she does nothing well.