@Ristolable: Someone just posted an article on Facebook and said "file this under sad." WAS I SUPPOSED TO BE FILING EVERYTHING
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@Sheila_Mac420: Sometimes, I just want to be taken seriously. And sometimes, I just want to be taken, seriously.
@MelvinofYork: I thought my wife was super pissed at me, but it turns out she was only “disappointed” in me. Thank God, I definitely dodged a bullet there
@aparnapkin: Have you ever heard someone honking so aggressively & for so long that you're like "this was never about the traffic, was it, buddy?"