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@TheMichaelRock: *someone playing a harmonica*
Me: I have no idea if he’s good at this or not.
@wandering_leaf9: *Me & dog*
*duel for the last piece of chicken*
*tosses a stick to distract*
*fetches the stick*
*chicken is gone*
Well played Peanut...!!
@lovemydogduck: Valentine's day is just about a month away so if you're in love with me, now would be the time to speak up.
@JIMBOSWELT: Randomly screaming and moaning in agony is a great way to get a seat by yourself on a packed bus.
@WilliamAder: To me, the worst part of the prostate exam is when the doctor says, "Guess how many fingers."
@kimlockhartga: Is it "butt-naked" or "buck-naked?" I want this pool party invite to be perfect.