Someone send Kendall Jenner onto a United flight with a Pepsi, stat.

You Might Also Like


ATTN: I’m looking for a new girlfriend

Are you:

1. Between the age of 11-69?
2. Mostly female?
3. Trained to poop outside?

DM for details


My cat just brought me my purse and car keys not sure what he’s trying to tell me.


Nothing says you’re a parent like being jealous of a tree because it’s all alone.


How do the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have 6-pack abs? They can’t do sit-ups.


I’m getting married!

Well, I have a new boyfriend!

Okay, I have a date for tomorrow night!

FINE. Shoe salesman said “Come back soon”.


Alan from Facebook is concerned about “boarder” control and thinks they should “learn our langage”


Imma need the barbs, beyhive, k pop stan Twitter, navy, and retired 1D stans to join forces and rig this election. I know y’all can do it


The horror when you realize you’ve drunk DMd a picture, the relief when you see it’s you holding your neighbor’s new puppy.


The term “mentally ill” is reserved for white people. Brown people are called terrorists. Black people are called thugs.


i once saw a pigeon on the subway & it got off at the financial distribct & all i coud think was “cool. that bird makes more money than me”