@blondecalamity: Someone should have warned me, that when you have kids, they talk to you, like, ALL. THE. TIME.
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@rockymomax: [me as a disc jockey] me: call in with any requests *phone rings* me: you’re on the air caller: please stop playing mambo number 5
@confusedlush: People who try to prepare for the end of the world are obviously misunderstanding the core concept.
@Maxine12333: The gym is like church to some people. No matter what they do all week, they think they can erase it with one visit.
@fapanislives: Fun Fact: I love it when Americans whose Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Grandfather emigrated from Ireland say "I'm Irish". No.