“Draw your weapon”
Me: *frantically trying to sketch a bear with gun legs & a shark head.
Sometimes I think we’re all going to be okay. Other times I read Yahoo Answers.
You Might Also Like
At my local supermarket, a clerk told me that their fresh shipment of toilet paper sold out in 15 minutes. People preparing for the shitpocalypse.
Me: *sees someone coming down hallway*
Them: Aimee! Hey!
Me: *turns and presses face against wall*
Me: *closes eyes*
please hire me for anything except the job i do now. qualifications include but not limited to:
•can walk up and down stairs
•can easily identify when someone is talking
•knows all US states except one
•once ate a blueberry muffin like an apple
•can smell most numbers
What I hated the most in Facebook?
How I handle confrontation:
Me: *falls to the ground*
*does the worm*
My dogs have requested that I stop trying to homeschool them.
Don’t want to get political on here but there’s no such thing as “endless shrimp.” Heads? Tails? Those are two VISIBLE ends THAT WE KNOW OF.
I told my date I was depressed. I added, “not like cut my inner thigh depressed, but sleep with you even though I don’t like you depressed.”
My husband left me this morning. Again.
he’ll be back after work, but still. I’m getting really sick of these games.