@bourgeoisalien: Sometimes to take a break from frightening election news, I watch something far less horrifying like 'The Shining' or 'Silence of the Lambs'
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DanMentos: "What's the deal with palm trees?" What are you doing? "You said do tropical humor" Topical. I said topical. "What's the deal with ointment"
@thenoahkinsey: *therapist writes in pad* Me: Sometimes I feel like people don't notice me- *therapist jumps* Therapist: SHIT! HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THERE?
@ElleOhHell: He's GUILTY! KILL HIM! Inject poison DIRECTLY INTO HIS VEINS! But first give him whatever he wants to eat; we're not savages.