@rebrafsim: Son: daddy why is the sky blue?
Me: it’s probably sad that people ask questions that they could have just googled
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@GrillinChillin9: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but alcohol makes ugly people pretty.
@ramblinma: I accidentally told my kid I paid for a toy "that Santa brought" and now I'm stuck in an elaborate web of lies please send help.
@shithoarder: Thanks to Twitter I can tell people I read.
@djdarrellripley: Her: A girl named "Bambi" called 6 times to see if you could go skinny dipping.. So, do you have a thing to say for yourself? Me: Can I go?
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