@Manda_like_wine: Son, your father and I have something to tell you - you were adopted. Your new parents are waiting outside in the car.
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@Reverend_Scott: Dinosaur 911: what's ur emer- Dinosaur: I'M BEING ATTACKED BY A GIANT SNAKE Dinosaur 911: same color as you? Dinosaur: YES Dinosaur 911: is it your own tail? Dinosaur: ok, you're gonna laugh
@jessokfine: How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult? It's like, oh you gave birth to me? Please enjoy this fancy candle.
@Cheeseboy22: If the Pottery Barn didn't want me to bring my goat in the store, they shouldn't have called it a barn.