@fro_vo

SOOTHSAYER: beware the ides of march
CAESAR: what sayst thou to me now? speak once again
SOOTHSAYER: beware the ides of march
CAESAR: wtf does ides mean
SOOTHSAYER: 15th
CAESAR: say 15th then

You Might Also Like

@pilau

Yesterday my kid looked into my eyes and said “I love you so much daddy” then punched me in the face.

@Shot_Of_Cabo

Pro: Learning another language increases your ability to communicate with more people.

Con: Learning another language increases your ability to communicate with more people.

@robfee

Wow, 5 years ago we had Steve Jobs and Neil Armstrong. Now we have no jobs and no arms.

@jilltwiss

“Friends” ended in 2004 and had a reunion this week, which means the cicadas think it was on the whole time

@brynnester

[Day 1 Of Lockdown]

Wife: *sitting down to dinner* What’s this?

Me: A delicious plate of Cheeto’s

Wife:

Me: I ate everything else already

@Bob_Janke

If your BF wears a gold necklace outside of his tshirt both of you will be asked to get out of your car by the police at gunpoint some day

@abbygov

cat owners be like “if he bites you or scratches you or murders your mom in front of you and watches the tears stream down your face as the life slowly departs her cold dead body it means he loves you”

@SamuelHLowe

Just how hairy was the dude who invented a shampoo called Head & Shoulders?