Me, opening my eyes to see I have two minutes left before my alarm clock goes off:
sorry cinderella but if he couldn’t recognize your face without your designer shoes on I have some news
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You know what a cubicle basically says? It says ‘We don’t think you’re smart enough for an office,but we don’t want you to look at anybody.’
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This Polar Bear is my spirit animal
You have 90,000 followers, follow 92,000, and all you tweet are @s thanking people for following back.
Are you raising an army for Mordor?
Look, all I’m saying is, you never see Nikki Manaj and E.T. in the same place at the same time.
Now picture me using proper grammar
My resume is just an old VHS tape of the “Life Goes On” episode where Corky lip syncs “Fight the Power” for his school’s talent show.