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@SoVeryBritish: “Sorry, could I just squeeze by?”
<person doesn’t move an inch>
@WorkingMom86: *Cleans house*
*looks at family*
“I’m going to have to ask you to leave”
@dylan_bell3: cushion on the right slightly discoloured
@Marlebean: I can do this parenting thing with 2 hands tied behind my back!
because they're holding me hostage
@TheAlexNevil: My wife's celebrity "free pass" is Paul Rudd, and mine is my wife because yah right like I'm gonna walk into *that* propeller blade.
@marcia_bee: Found an old Tom Jones CD and my underwear drawer flew wide open and all my undies threw themselves at my stereo.