YOU, OBLIVIOUS TO CLIMATE CHANGE: *dies*
ME, OBSESSED WITH CLIMATE CHANGE: *dies more meaningfully*
Sorry I picked up your pug and ran him in for a touchdown.
You Might Also Like
the only exercise this month ive done is running out of money
I’m having a green screen installed behind my couch, because, you know, I don’t ever feel like going out, but I wanna look like I do stuff.
I’m sorry I broke your finger, but seriously, what did you expect would happen when you tried to eat the last two fries off my plate?
Rich guy does it: 50 Shades of Grey.
Poor guy does it: Cops.
[after drug rehab]
Jon Arbuckle: Hey Garfield
Garfield: *normal cat noises*
Flash floods in Arizona last night. We nominate California and Texas. #ALSIceBucketChallenge
My grocery list is just a piece of paper saying don’t run into anyone you know
me: *is guillotined in a whole foods*
cnn: Man Beheaded In Grains Section Has Dark Past Of Illegally Downloading T-Pain Songs In 2007
I’m no sadist. Some of my best friends are sad.