@SamuelHLowe

Sorry I said you looked like black Garfield in your Catwoman costume.

You Might Also Like

@dank_dino

*judge bangs gavel on desk*
*judge cooks gavel breakfast in the morning*
*judge tell gavel he loves her*
*judge marries gavel*

@Cravin4

My top 5 yoga positions
5 Napping Warrior
4 Downward Spiral
3 Crying Plank
2 Farting Tree
1 Drunk Hasselhoff

@daddydoubts

I love it when my toddler falls asleep with sunglasses on it’s like my own personal weekend at bernie’s.

@13Tink5

People who say ‘have a nice day’, like I planned this shit show

@Donnie_Fairburn

“Son, hey son”
Yeah dad?
“Know why we named you Adopted?”
*Sighs* Because I’m adop-
“BECAUSE YOU’RE ADOPTED”
Good one dad
“I’m not your dad”

@Molly_Kats

Do I feel like crying? HELL YES LET’S DO THIS ‘THE FAULT IN OUR STARS’

@tayandmae

U know your mind is gone when u get out of bath and realize u only shaved one leg

Unless u only have one leg… Then you’re good