@GreenishDuck: Sorry it took me 10 months to text you back. I'm a snake now and I typed this with my head.
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@InternetHippo: If a cop is arresting you, just play the national anthem, he’ll be forced to stand still for the whole thing while you get away
@Holy_Mowgli: Bruce Banner with his hand stuck in a Pringles can, getting more and more frustrated
@dixinormus10: My daughter just put a box of un-frosted Pop Tarts in my grocery cart so I walked out and left her there. Good luck with that life.